Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
