her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
