she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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