his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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