Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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