At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
