i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
