i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
