I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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