the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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