3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
if you like me you must not know who I am
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
