belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
