have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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