Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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