I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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