If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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