there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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