I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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