There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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