hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
In America we eat man semen.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
