I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I need water and some morals
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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