her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
