You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
