You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
