nut hugger
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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