I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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