U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do vagina's smell?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
