i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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