Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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