some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
