Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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