in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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