So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
