wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
pray to the hookup gods
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
