Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
