she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
