i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
