its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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