i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
