we have pet lesbian snakes
You work out of a Hotel?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
sarcasm needs its own font
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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