Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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