So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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