I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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