I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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