Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
