I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
