i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize