Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
