We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
