How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
