I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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