I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
organizing the empties. That sober.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
