I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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