almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm bleeding and have questions
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
