you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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