I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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