Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You may now shotgun with the bride
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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