The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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