I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm getting married
To pizza
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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