if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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